Thank in Person?

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Thank In Person Sufficient?

1994 Beth Weiss, Posted to Usenet newsgroup, November 14, 1994

I wrote this when someone suggested that thanking everyone individually at the baby shower was sufficient.

Thanking everyone at the shower may well not be sufficient.  Chances are that not everyone who participate in the shower was there.  Someone may have contributed to the group gift, but then had a sick child to be tended to, or was out of town, or otherwise committed that day.  Those people need to be thanked.  And this has happened to me, and I've never been sure if the recipient even knows that I sent a gift, since I never received any indication that she did.

Well, I know that I don't send further gifts to people who don't acknowledge the gifts I send them.  I just assume that they don't like them enough to feel moved to drop me a two minute note of gratitude, and so I wouldn't want to burden them with additional tokens of my esteem and joy for them, since clearly they're not received in the spirit in which I give them.

There's a trend going around for having the attendees address envelopes for their thank you notes--while they're at the shower.  It's a great idea for the organizer to provide a list of addresses, maybe, but I assure you, I don't feel thanked when I get a note in my handwriting with a card I've already seen (since they were also provided) saying "thank you for the outfit.  Sincerely,  Jane Doe". 

Yeah, it's can be a bit of pain to look up someone's address.  But it took me less than two hours to write thank you notes and get addresses for each of the people at my shower.  That's considerably less time than it took them to shop, wrap, and come.

There are several lucky babies out there wearing bibs I've made for them.  And I'm busy,too--but I make time for the things I want to do.  We're all busy--everyone is.  Those of us with kids, those of us who are pregnant for the first time, those of us employed outside of the home, those of us who aren't.  We all make time for the things that are important to us.  If thank you notes aren't important to you, then you don't make time for them.  I doubt there are many of us who can't honestly say we haven't wasted two hours in the last week doing something useless, that we could have used some other way. 

We choose how to spend our time--and when most of the time, when we say "I'm too busy to do that", we really mean "there are other things I'd rather do instead". 

How to Thank Optional Notes? Thank in Person?

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